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Wednesday, October 21, 2009


I'm just not doing all that great. Have very little inspiration for blogging. Am battling depression. Am discouraged about treatment. Just all around feel like crap.

I admit I was not being as faithful with my meds as I should have been. I was supposed to take the 3 doses a day and was frequently taking 2 a day because it upset my stomach so much. So, I'm taking 3/day now and maybe that is contributing to my symptom increase. Maybe not. Who the hell knows. Maybe it's all in my head.
I'm fatigued. My hands ache. My hips ache. My jaw, teeth, right eye, face hurts! Every afternoon I feel like I have the flu. I'm a pain in the ass to be around. And I'm DAMN Depressed.

Sometimes projects help in times like this. So I've been thinking about painting over the green walls in the hallways, or repainting my badly abused table. Got rid of the very stinky rug that was in the family room. Put all my clothes on new skinny hangers and organized them by type and color (well, that project is kinda in progress). Baked/cooked but don't have much of an appetite so...

I do have an appointment with a design client tomorrow. A very sweet couple in Danville. I completely reorganized their home, redesigned several pieces of their furniture and created a fireplace/flat-screen tv wall for them. Tomorrow I'm going to help them hang about 20 pieces of original artwork and vintage family photographs. It's like putting a puzzle together. Could be therapeutic. If nothing more, they're good company and they're buying me lunch.

I realize there's nothing anyone can really do for me. It's just what it is I guess. Sometimes you just have to wade through the muck. There's no other way. And don't get me started on "The Secret" or the power of positive thinking. I'll deal with that in another post if I ever have the energy.

For now, I'll get the kids' homework done. Take the dogs to the park. Make dinner. Go to sleep.

Good night.


  1. cherie i'm so sorry you are in the muck...come down to san diego and let's bask in some sunshine and drink lattes or red wine or just "be" together...hoping something pulls you out but i know when you are in physical pain, too, the mental pain can be unbearable. let me know if i can do anything...:(

  2. Thank you Denise. That sounds lovely. I'm actually going to visit our dear friend, Cara, tomorrow for the weekend. That will be a good distraction, I hope.

  3. beautiful description of muck, Cherie.
    I'm tempted then to think beauty is everywhere.

  4. Yes, always some beauty in the breakdown.


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