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Monday, June 21, 2010

George Bernard Shaw and My Biscuit

My mother has always said that I wear my heart on my sleeve; along with every mistake, poor decision, or basic humiliation I might encounter.  I guess there's never a big enough rug around when I need to do a little sweeping.

So, I've also spent a lot of my life adjusting to my own foolishness (or that of others) and learning to find the beauty in the breakdown.

One of the more public arenas in which I've been... success-challenged... is that of family planning.  Over the years I have, unfortunately, witnessed the heartache of too many of my girlfriends as they've struggled with various degrees of infertility.  I always experience a bit of survivor's guilt in these situations as fertility seems to be one of my... gifts (?).

My first "gift" was the unexpected, and unlikely, arrival of my 8 pound, 10 oz, beginning-of-life-as-I-know-it, baby girl.  She is now approaching 14 and has made her sacred womanly passage into Bitchdom.  I'm very proud.

Three years later, life was good.  Stable.  Perfect time to bless Kinsey with a sibling.  D and I had only been married for three months but we didn't want to put a large gap between Kinsey and the next child so we decided to just stop 'not trying'.  Bam!  We were pregnant in minutes.  Of course, when I tried to get pregnant with one baby, I was "gifted" with TWO high-energy, rock-my-world, forces-to-be-reckoned-with.

Enter Biscuit...

Biscuit is our most recent "gift".  He is a healthy, wiggly, 23 week old fetus, taking residence in very close proximity to my heart.  

Just FYI; that quippy little phrase "the best way to get over a man is to get under one..."  NOT SO MUCH!

Obviously, this was unplanned and very poorly timed.  Nothing has been easy about this proverbial stubbing of my toe.  For any well-meaning advisors feeling the urge to school me,  I've had 20 odd weeks to process this reality, so I'm well aware of it's flaws.  No need to enlighten me.  

That said, Biscuit IS a gift.  Just as my other sweet three are.  I mean, who doesn't like a surprise party. Right??  And Biscuit's daddy is a beautiful soul.  One I am blessed to know.

I don't know that everything happens for a reason, but I do know that beauty can be found in the mess of it all.  I've seen it before.  I remind myself of it often.

My dear friend, and fellow blogger, Farmhouse Wife, posted this quote recently:

"A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing." ~ George Bernard Shaw.

I've lived a VERY honorable life so far.


  1. Oh sweet woman, it's good to see you processing, and I am amazed and proud to see your strength and courage in laying it all out there to see and feel. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. You are loved, and if ever you need a hand to hold, don't hesitate to call on me...
    xo Stephanie

  2. Holy crap, Cherie! I'm excited and amazed for you! Adding to the brood is definitely going to add to your number of albums on FB! ;)
    I'm really looking forward to hearing more (?) about this...
    I hope you're feeling well :)

  3. i love you, and thought of you yesterday when i came across a framed print of four young'uns at the beach. a girl about 14 was holding a baby and there were two boys playing in the sand below her. it was your flock.

    roots and wings. give them roots to always know where they came from and wings, to fly fly fly

  4. Love you Cherie, and loved this blog entry! It takes courage and savvy to combine all these issues into a sweet and humorous entry... you have a special talent for that. I love it. :)


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