So, I've also spent a lot of my life adjusting to my own foolishness (or that of others) and learning to find the beauty in the breakdown.
One of the more public arenas in which I've been... success-challenged... is that of family planning. Over the years I have, unfortunately, witnessed the heartache of too many of my girlfriends as they've struggled with various degrees of infertility. I always experience a bit of survivor's guilt in these situations as fertility seems to be one of my... gifts (?).
My first "gift" was the unexpected, and unlikely, arrival of my 8 pound, 10 oz, beginning-of-life-as-I-know-it, baby girl. She is now approaching 14 and has made her sacred womanly passage into Bitchdom. I'm very proud.
Three years later, life was good. Stable. Perfect time to bless Kinsey with a sibling. D and I had only been married for three months but we didn't want to put a large gap between Kinsey and the next child so we decided to just stop 'not trying'. Bam! We were pregnant in minutes. Of course, when I tried to get pregnant with one baby, I was "gifted" with TWO high-energy, rock-my-world, forces-to-be-reckoned-with.
Biscuit is our most recent "gift". He is a healthy, wiggly, 23 week old fetus, taking residence in very close proximity to my heart.
Just FYI; that quippy little phrase "the best way to get over a man is to get under one..." NOT SO MUCH!
Obviously, this was unplanned and very poorly timed. Nothing has been easy about this proverbial stubbing of my toe. For any well-meaning advisors feeling the urge to school me, I've had 20 odd weeks to process this reality, so I'm well aware of it's flaws. No need to enlighten me.
That said, Biscuit IS a gift. Just as my other sweet three are. I mean, who doesn't like a surprise party. Right?? And Biscuit's daddy is a beautiful soul. One I am blessed to know.
I don't know that everything happens for a reason, but I do know that beauty can be found in the mess of it all. I've seen it before. I remind myself of it often.
My dear friend, and fellow blogger, Farmhouse Wife, posted this quote recently:
"A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing." ~ George Bernard Shaw.
I've lived a VERY honorable life so far.