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Saturday, July 3, 2010

High-Carb, Preservative-Loaded, Straight-To-Your-Ass, Best Cultic Casserole You've Ever Tasted

It's Saturday night. The kids are with their dad. You know what they say, "when the cat's away, the mouse will... bake a casserole?" Among other enviable activities.

But this isn't just any casserole. This is a dish drawn directly from my religious potluck heritage (a religion best known for it's "Health Message").   A 9X13 masterpiece craved, beloved, and understood by the children of that world; and... not-so-much by the potluck-deprived.

I've decided to post this recipe. Maybe as a gift. Maybe as a challenge. Maybe because it's Saturday night and I'm home with my three dogs and have used up all of my exciting evening plans and it's only 7:00.

Go ahead, try it. Let me know if your life is forever changed.

Tater Tot Casserole
(High-Carb, Preservative-Loaded, Straight-To-Your-Ass, Best Cultic Casserole You've Ever Tasted)

1 32 oz Package Tater Tots
1 Package Frozen Peas (Optional)
1 Can Fry Chick (This will be a foreign substance to most of you. Just insert your meat of choice or nothing at all.)
1 16 oz Container Sour Cream
1 Can Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup (A basic in about 90% of all cultic recipes.)
1 Cup Shredded Cheddar Cheese (Also a basic.)
1 6 oz Can of French Fried Onions

Directions (Complete with pictures!):
Step 1: Preheat oven to 350* F. Grease a 9X13 baking dish.

Step 2: Arrange Tater Tots (along with Fry Chick or meat of choice) in the baking dish.

Step 3: Add package of frozen peas as shown.

Step 4: Mix sour cream, mushroom soup and cheese in separate mixing bowl and then spread evenly over the Tater Tot layered concoction. 

Step 5: Sprinkle top with French Fried Onions and place in the oven to bake for one hour.

One hour can feel like a long time to wait for your dish. That is why I like to participate in other fun Saturday night activities to pass the time.

This particular evening I took the opportunity to fill the beater with oil (mindfully replacing the cap) to prevent another pesky engine fire. 

With that task completed, I still had plenty of time to perform a root touch-up and conditioning treatment to the few hairs still clinging to my scalp. (Note to self: if a product intended to alter your personal chemistry is $4.99, question it.)

And, after a nice, cleansing shower, and some mirror affirmations, I was able to leisurely make my way back to the kitchen in time for the ding of the oven timer.

The masterpiece.
Complete and ready to comfort.


  1. I stopped by from MBC. Great post. I think I gained five pounds just reading the recipe! :-)

  2. I'm completely addicted to your blog and humorous view of life. In an insanely serious world, it's comforting to find others with heart AND humor.

    How was the casserole? Did you complete the cultic aspect by taking a slice of it the following day and making a sandwich with it? Do tell!

  3. Thanks so much for great words of support!

    I actually did the eat-it-cold-out-of-the-fridge-for-breakfast thing. No worries though, still plenty for sandwiches later.

  4. "Religious potluch heritage" ROFL
    Ain't it the truth! Probably explains my high cholesterol today.


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