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Sunday, January 17, 2010

So, There It Is...

I regularly debate the level of vulnerability I'm willing to express on this blog.  I have always been a relatively genuine being.  I crave honesty in my experiences and relationships.  But, have also been made keenly aware of the danger which lies there-in.

So, though I have many reservations on doing so, I've decided to let you into my very fragile center for just a minute.  Please be gentle with me.

As some of you have noticed, I have recently changed my name on Facebook.  I am now listed by my first and my middle names.  I did not make this change in an attempt to be novel.  It is, as some have guessed, a reflection of my current marital status.  No last name to post for now.  It just felt more honest to be known by the only names which are truly just my own, Cherie Marcel.  Given to me by my mother, who was herself alone at my birth.  Fitting.  Accurate.

Dan and I are not failures.  We are good people with good hearts.  We care deeply for each other and the three children we have raised together.  We are not fighting and there is no side to be taken.  No enemies.  Just two flawed beings doing our best to navigate this life.  This decision may not fit into desirable social norms, but it does appear to be the best one for us.  We are accepting this reality with compassion for each other and an unbelievable love for our children.

Though this is not what I ever imagined or hoped for, for our children to experience, it is my desire that they will be able to unearth whatever treasures there are to be found in this.  If nothing more, that they will choose, in their lives,  to be honest and true to themselves and those affected by them.

This is the raw.  Broken; facing judgements, opinions and interjections from friends and family; painful decisions; reflections; NOISE..... quiet.

Further details are not necessary.  This is where it stands.  What it is.

On with life.


  1. sigh. i know we're not close, but reading this made my heart skip just a beat, and my breath a little short. i must tell you that i deeply admire your honesty.
    regardless of the outcome.

  2. cherie i had no idea...funny how i think i know so much just following your blog...i was even going to do a blog post on how self-absorbed i can be (and that was before reading this!)...i agree with farmhousewife's much more articulate comments...i wish there was something i could do from far away...to "be" here for you in some way...wish i could just give you a long "too tight" hug...

  3. I now it's not easy to talk about something so personal and painful but thank you for sharing it.

    It's hard to nail down exactly what make some writing good, and some not so good, but I think one thing all good writing has in common is honesty. Even when it is painful.


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